So, my puter's broken, so the only time i can update is through tippedthevelvet's computer.
That's why i've been (conspicuously? Perhaps not..hehe) absent from lj lately.
What's your excuse for the lack of updates, then, everyone? :)
The girl's no good anymore. She's not good enough for him.
*takes a deep breath* ...ok, i will NOT post any more dinosaur comics today.
The cat purrs, the cigarette packet tries (in a fit of naiive and overoptimistic overestimation of my willpower) to convince me that it will never empty, and i am too fat by far, while my intellect starves.
Oh, and i'm going on a road trip from Perth to Melbourne next week, with Carl, in a rusted old ute he's borrowing from his dad.
There's no way in hell that thing's gonna make it across the Nullabor.
We's gonna end up stranded, and dehydrated, and turn into nomadic desert zombies.
What's that word for when you're feeling all sort of like,
"Fuck it all, i don't give a crap what happens next, i just wanna be impulsive and undo all the things i've been working towards"?
It's sort of a midway point between Nihilism and self-destruction.
i'm starting a diet tomorrow.
A healthy one, not a starvy one.
'Cause i'm caught between rebuilding and destroying what's inside of me; i cycle rapidly between the two each day, and i'm at a crossroads as to which path i want to take.
Burn my ego to the ground that i may start again?
Or continue working with what i had already?
Damn you, Ayn Rand.
Now i'm not certain anymore.
- There is no spoon -
(God bless the edit function) :)
Del's funeral was today.
Scattered thoughts...Marcella got up and said a few words...i remember Del telling me about how painfully shy Marcella used to be, to the point where she could barely look anyone in the eye or speak...so it seemed particularly special that she was brave enough to get up there, in her grief, and speak about Del in front of all those people.
In the waiting area there was a little baby who looked like Del...orange hair, blue eyes, same pale skin. It wasn't just the hair colouring and stuff...i mean, it actually kinda looked like her.
i dunno who from her family the kid belonged to.
i didn't touch the coffin.
Everybody else did, as they walked past, but i couldn't bring myself to. That would've meant accepting reality. i hope no-one noticed, or thought i was being disrespectful.
i saw today that she was cared for by a lot of people.
i figured that would've been the case.
She'd requested they play "Glycerine", and a Bon Jovi tune i didn't recognise.
Don't know what else to say.
Obviously, i think we're all just wishing she was still around.
i think i owe you an apology.
That diary said some kinda cruel things, most of which i didn't really mean.
i don't really remember much of what i did wrong last night, but i do remember you being pissed off about it.
But i'm sorry if any of what i said or did hurt you...it was not my intention to hurt you.
huh...kinda redundant, posting this on livejournal seeing as you don't have internet access right now...damn phone can't send text messages, or i'd send you this.
i hope i didn't offend you.